Hope it’s just the end of the year catching up with me. Hope it’s just a lack of energy. I hope.

Hope it’s not that I am losing my desire to blog every morning. Hope it’s not that I have spent all that I have to spend over the last three years. I hope it’s not.

But, if I am honest, for the last little bit, it’s been harder and harder to post every morning. I sit here staring at the screen for longer than I’d like, hoping to find my morning muse, but she presents herself less lately. Not sure what’s going on, exactly, but something is.

Maybe I am evolving. Maybe I am caught between two selves as I shed my last better to take on my next, waiting for that full 180-degree turn, short by 17 degrees. Maybe.

From day one, Project 180 has been about turning myself upside down so I would have to right myself and find my feet again. So, maybe it’s that. I have not quite completed the turn, and as I am already eager to jump ahead with my “next better” for a new year, I am just stuck inside. Maybe.

Of course, by now, you’d think I’d know better. You’d think I’d know better than to wish away the day, hoping for tomorrow. And, I suppose, on some level I do know better, but I keep doing it anyway, and I don’t know why I’d expect it to be any different on year 23. It’s not. I can “see it,” so I want to chase it.

To be sure, I am looking forward to implementing my plans for a feedback-only classroom next year. It’s beauty beckons, but it will have to wait. I still have this year to finish. I can’t be chasing shiny new things just yet.

Oh, the curse of always chasing better. Maybe my immediate, “next better” needs to be my becoming better at just living in the moment, noting the view on the outside, but honoring what yet remains on the inside.

Today’s Trail

Along today’s trail we will experience…

…connecting through Smiles and Frowns.

…growing as writers.

…reflecting in our Journey Journals.

…hearing a Sappy Sy Rhyme.

Happy Tuesday, all.

Do. Reflect. Do Better.