Monte – Some of my classes love Pros and Cons and participate great. Others seem to not want to have any human contact inside of a class. The vast majority instantly pass and it is a chore to get through Pros and Cons. Have you ever experienced this kind of dislike for sharing of anything personal?

One of my Twitter connections reached out to me yesterday with this question about Smiles and Frowns, which he calls Pros and Cons.

This was my response.

All the time. It used to really bug me. It was hard not to take personally, but I have a different view of it now. I remind myself of my why. I want the kids to know that every single day, regardless of how they respond, someone wants to know about their lives, that someone wants to say their names, that someone wants to listen. This has really helped me see this opportunity differently, especially with where we are right now. Hope this helps.

It still bugs me a bit, at least in the sense that I miss out on getting to know my kids better. But my new view has really changed how I respond to the “Pass,” which I have always said is key to the success of Smiles and Frowns–that, and doing it every single day, no matter what. And it’s the latter that becomes a bit hard when kids perpetually pass, but I believe we have to see it through and see it for what it really is, which is a daily invitation to connection.

As for the shying away from human contact, I believe the general lack of an emphasis on human connection in school and society is to blame. I started doing Smiles and Frowns in response to this, in response to the reality that we were largely content with being strangers in the room for 180 days. Not okay. I knew we could do better. So, we did. I wanted my kids to see that connections are not only possible but also important. I love introducing Smiles and Frowns to a new group, telling them that by the end of the year we will be strangers no more, that we will be a community. Of course, every year the kids prove me wrong when they correct me, “We’re not just a community; we are a family.”

I know a lot of my readers do their own versions of Smiles and Frowns, and I suspect some have abandoned it for the very reason my friend from Twitter raised, but I would encourage you to go back to it with a new view of the “Pass.”

Happy Friday, all. Have a wonderful weekend.

Do. Reflect. Do Better.