Five come to mind. I think about them more than I’d like. Hard to get away from the weight, for I carry them with me. I cannot ignore them. But it seems I cannot help them either. I have failed to reach some kids this year.

If I am honest, there have been a handful for each of my twenty-three–sometimes, two handfuls. And it has never sat well with me. Sometimes, I cannot reach them academically. Sometimes, I cannot reach them emotionally. Sometimes, it’s both. All times, it registers as a failure, as the year closes and they move on. I never reached them.

This year is quickly closing; with a mere fifty-two days ahead, it seems a mission impossible for a few of my five. Oh, it’s not that I won’t try. I will. I do. Even at this moment, I am filled with “I-can” enthusiasm, but I know this daily dose of dynamism is fleeting, and it may only be the caffeine, as my sails soon lose wind to the reality of the sea on which we float. And though I try to cast a lifeline in their direction each day–some days more diligently than others, they haven’t grabbed it yet, and they are drowning before my eyes.

In this, I have to imagine that I am not alone. I have to believe that all teachers experience these rougher waters, too, as they make their way through their year, through their career. We cannot reach all kids, all of the time–a truth despite some of the rah-rah rhetoric that seems pervasive in our profession: All kids can learn! Yes. But maybe not in the box we place them. And even for those of us who try to “break the box,” there still remain circumstances outside our control. Some kids we will never reach. And that weighs–even saying it seems blasphemous, a defilement of our sacred oath to help all kids. But if I am saying it, I must on some level believe it, accept it. And how do I reconcile that? How do sit down next to “John” today and encourage him if I don’t believe I can reach him? Am I the reason he is out of reach? Maybe. And that’s scary. How do I fix that? Will I ever have that banner year in which I reach all kids?

I don’t know. But I will try. Guess, really, it’s all I can do as an imperfect being in an imperfect world. All any of us can do, as we find our ships listing at times in these troubling waters of our paradoxically impossible voyage to reach all kids.

Today’s Trail

Along today’s trail we will experience…

…connecting through Smiles and Frowns.

…integrating quotes.

…conferencing about writing.

…reflecting in our Journey Journals.

…hearing a Sappy Sy Rhyme.

Happy Tuesday, all. For all the teachers out there who find yourselves listing in troubled waters, I understand, and you are not alone. Thank you for sharing the waters with me.

Do. Reflect. Do Better.