I should have gone in this weekend. Piles are high. Time is short. But the list is long at home, too. And there is the fam. Oh, and there’s also me. I can think of me, can’t I?

As we near the end of semester one, there is a lot to do. There’s always a lot to do, but with the added urgency of disappearing days, stress can run high for teachers as we juggle the many demands we face in our lives.

So, yes, I should have gone in to school and gotten less behind. I always say “less behind” because I don’t think we are ever caught up. I should have, but I didn’t, and if I could go back, I wouldn’t have gone in. I vowed not to. I decided to leave school at school this year–for me and my kids.

Laziness? Selfishness? Malpractice? I don’t know. I guess if there’s some guilt, maybe. But it might also be healthy. For though I undeniably still feel pangs of guilt when I don’t go in on Sundays anymore, I feel happier, I teach happier, and I live happier. This has been my happiest year of my twenty-three so far, even during the SAD season that is now, that has always been for me during this dreary time of year.

I had an aha moment a few years back. And it was from that moment that I started moving away from school when I was away from school. I give everything when I am at school. I strive ardently and diligently to give my students the best of me, all of me–as most of us do. But when we always give our best, there’s a cost. There’s only so much “best” to spend, so while I was giving my all at school, I was neglecting my family; I was neglecting myself, insofar as we rarely got the best of me. I love my students, but the people I love most, my family, were getting leftovers, when they should have been getting the full meal. So I decided, for my family, for my students, for myself, I had to make some changes. I quit dividing myself and started dividing my time. At school, my kids would get me, all of me. At home, my family would get me, all of me. That’s just the way it had to be.

Of course, I am still adjusting. Still haven’t found the switch to “fully turn off” school, and I probably never will. I will likely always feel a bit guilty, but more and more, I am becoming okay with that. Yes, it’s harder at the end of semester to ignore the pile, but in the end, I think it’s been a wise decision. We have to take care of ourselves, even if that means taking back our weekends and learning to live with the guilt. We have to reach past the pile of papers.

So what did I do with my Sunday? I climbed a tree. For real. I decided to challenge myself to climb 100 trees in the new year. Yesterday I made climb #5. I am calling it Reaching Higher. I didn’t find a pile a papers yesterday, but I did find some joy for myself. Don’t think I should feel guilty for that.

Today’s Trail

Along today’s trail we will experience…

…reconnecting with Smiles and Frowns.

…finishing up a few Truth Project interviews and presentations.

…demonstrating learning with theme on a final Performance.

…preparing for grading conferences.

…reflecting in our Journey Journals.

…hearing a Sappy Sy Rhyme.

Happy Monday, all. Take care of you.

Do. Reflect. Do Better.