Day Thirty Three. Morning, all. Bit of a rough day yesterday. Just not finding a lot of joy in this distance situation. Teaching has largely become what I like the least: a transactional experience. The work is there. But it’s not the same. I am finding little joy in making transactions with kids. I need the connection, and though there are ways to connect digitally, it all comes up short compared to the connections made and enjoyed in the classroom. Yesterday, there was a notable absence.

She never showed up, and I am beginning to worry she may be absent frequently in the remaining days. Each day I will continue to call her name. Some days she may show. Other days, I will have to make do when she’s absent.

Today, I have a feeling she will try to make it. And I, too, will try to harder to find her in the places I may not have yet looked, in the places I need to remember, for she is there in much I remember. And, for now, that may have to do.

Joy, I will remember. Promise. I owe you that much.

Happy Wednesday, all. Sorry for the crazy coaster ride I’ve taken you on of late. Just making my way. Stay safe and sane.

Do. Reflect. Do Better.