“Hey, kid. Good to hear form you. No stress. Just progress. Do what you can when you can. Your grade will be fine.”

“I guess sy, it’s like i don’t understand how teachers, administrators, and my parents expect me to do all of this work and have a good mental health. It just puzzles me. I have 2 councilors, and a semi supportive family and I’m still behind and not doing well… I just can’t imagine what people that have it wayy worse than me feel yk [ya know].”

I do know. It’s why I am the way I am. I know–rather have come to know–that I have to be flexible, and I tried to communicate that to my kiddos yesterday, as they, too, are no doubt puzzled by this strange time that we have been forced to fit.

As I have long said and lived, I cannot control all that happens outside my room, but I have a great deal of say as to what happens inside my room. And in that say, I have learned to speak the language of flexibility, bending where I can, where I must. And so, I do.

Too flexible? Absolutely. I will not pretend otherwise. I bend too far for kids. But don’t they take advantage of you? I am not sure what that means. If I offer, shouldn’t they? See, my experiences with bending have not resulted in the “great escape” that many fear. If we give them too much freedom, they will run and never return. That has not been my experience. Kiddos, like the one with whom I shared the above conversation yesterday, return time and again. She, when she can, returns to the “roost.” She checks in. She turns in work. She seeks help and feedback. When she can. And when that happens, I am here–ready to bend. But what about learning? What about it? Does she not seem to be learning during this strange time? Does she not seem to be reflecting on her human experience as she learns about struggle, perseverance, community, and empathy? It seems plain to me that she is learning more than I can teach her.

No, she may not meet all the requirements of all our “priority standards” for the semester, but she seems to understand that she has other pressing priorities right now that require her attention. So, I let her live her story. We often think we have to turn to literature and other’s stories to learn about the human experience, but I have found that our little humans are living some pretty powerful stories right now. They don’t need to live vicariously through fictional characters. They just need to live their lives. And I have found that being flexible gives them the room and freedom they need for that.

We are not ruining kids lives–now or later–when we are flexible. I think that’s a fallacy born of fear, a fear that if we don’t keep them in line, that if we don’t make them comply, they will never fit. Phooey to that. All of it. They will fit fine, for they are learning to fit themselves first.

Happy Tuesday, all.

Do. Reflect. Do Better.