Day Seven. Not much to say today. Hard to muster material when I am not in the classroom. So, I am not going to force it. Hope all are well out there. I will check back in tomorrow.

Do. Reflect. Do Better.

Day Four. Not feeling it today. Sorry. Everyone take care.

Do. Reflect. Do Better.

Conferences the next two days. No kids, so I am gonna take a break from posting. See you all back here Monday.

It’s going to be uncomfortable–maybe a little more than I expected, given our classroom culture, but I guess it makes sense. Sharing Smiles and Frowns is one thing. Discussing societal issues is quite another, especially with how I am asking my kids to do it.

When they walk in the room today, they will find fifteen sets of paired, facing desks. To begin, the kids may sit where they like, but as the activity gets underway, they will rotate every two minutes, conversing with a new partner each time about a different topic.

They will be discussing the top fifteen class-selected societal issues, narrowed down from the forty-five I originally presented. The issues range from homelessness, to gun control, to childhood obesity, to climate change. And each period’s top fifteen varied a bit, so the topics will vary over the course of the day as kids share their views with each other. And this is where it took a bit of unanticipated turn.

Some kids are not comfortable sharing their personal views with someone else in such a way (paired together). I expected a little anxiety, but I figured most, if not all, would jump at the chance to express their views. But I was wrong. And though I have fretted some over this, I am not going to change the physical format of the activity. But I am going to make some changes to hopefully alleviate some of the anxiety.

I think part of the problem exists due to the “debate-to-divide” experiences kids have had up to this point. Though I have advised them that today’s goal is not to debate but discuss the issues, I think it’s hard for some to step away from past experience, believing there has to be a winner and a loser. It’s how they’ve been conditioned. So, I think that is causing some distress among some. So, this is how I will help.

First, I will tell the kids why I am not changing the physical format. It will sound something like this:

I know this format is uncomfortable for some of you. It’s hard to talk about hard things, especially with someone you don’t know well and with someone who may have very different views from you. I know that. And I hope you know by now that I neither seek nor enjoy putting you in anxious moments. And that is not my goal here. Never my goal. But I will challenge you. And today I am challenging you to try what we have forgotten how to do as a society: talk with each other. Just that, talk with each other. Not at or even to, but with each other. To sit down for two minutes and have a conversation about things that are broken in our society. To have a conversation that is as much about listening as it is speaking. Maybe more about listening. Today is not about right or wrong, win or lose. Today is about coming to the table to see, to hear, to understand the space that divides us and staying in the conversation. I believe we have to talk. Sometimes, I think the divide is so wide because we don’t. We have to talk with each other. That is my challenge for you.

Second, I will also tell my kids:

“It’s just a conversation about the topic. You can go as deep or stay as shallow as you’d like. You don’t have to argue.”

“If you find yourself not wanting to talk about a particular issue, offer to listen.”

“If all else fails, and you find yourself in an awkward moment, just talk with each other.”

I hope this helps settle some. I hope. I am really eager to see how this goes today. Tomorrow, I will share some of the feedback I get from kids. Fingers crossed that “with talk” we can build some bridges.

Today’s Trail

Along today’s trail we will experience…

…connecting through Smiles and Frowns.

…talking with each other.

…reflecting on and sharing about our experience.

…hearing a Sappy Sy Rhyme.

Happy Tuesday, all.

Do. Reflect. Do Better.

Out today. Not feeling well. Hopefully back to it tomorrow. Sorry.

No wi-fi at home this morning. No time to write a post now. Sorry. Back at it tomorrow.

Do. Reflect. Do Better.

Morning, all. Life’s got me a bit distracted this morning. My mom is going in for major back surgery today. And though everything should go well, such moments make me worry, so I am a little preoccupied with that. With my folks in at the hospital, I have to attend to the farm chores this morning before school, so I won’t do much of a post today. Sorry. Life happens.

I have heard about it my entire career. The causes. The symptoms. The preventions. And, all of my career, despite the warnings, I’ve always thought myself invulnerable, resistant to that which catches too many–sometimes too soon: burnout. Am I burning out?

No. Maybe. Yes? I don’t know. I don’t think so. But I think–about it, so does that mean I am in danger? I mean, if I am wondering and worrying, am I wavering? Are there signs? Am I reading the signs? Am I ignoring the signs? Am I just tired? Is it just the time of year? Am I doing too much? Am I losing touch? Am I…getting old? Am I?

I often paint teachers in metaphors. Teachers are trees. Teachers are ghosts. Teachers are chameleons. But some days–lately, too many days–I wonder if we aren’t candles. And like candles, if we burn too brightly, or stand too long in the wind, we lose our flame.

But, of course, like candles, we can be relit–even many times, but eventually, the wax wanes, the wick withers, and the candle’s no more. And then…

We remember it’s just a metaphor, a figurative, dramatic casting of what it is to be teacher in those moments when the wind warns, and we step inside so our flame flags no more, and we faithfully face our days as burning beacons for the eyes seeking light in our rooms.

Wind is born of change. The temperature changes and wind wakens. Maybe that’s the wind I feel of late. Maybe change is on the horizon. Maybe I need a change. Maybe I need a break from change. Maybe I just need a break. But such a thing is unimaginable as I think about the eyes waiting for my light, as I cup my hand around my flame, sure I can protect it from the wind.

Today’s Trail

Along today’s trail we will experience…

…connecting through Smiles and Frowns.

…growing with grammar.

…growing as writers.

…reflecting in our Journey Journals.

…hearing a Sappy Sy Rhyme.

Happy Friday, all. Sorry for the downer this morning. I really am okay. My flame’s just a bit low right now. The winds will calm. They always do.

Do. Reflect. Do Better.

There’s a line. Sometimes we cross it. Sometimes we walk up to it. Sometimes we walk away from it. I have done all. There is a line.

Change is hard because when we change, we have to live the line. On one side we find our comfort, and on the other side we find a fear, a threat to our way, a threat to our comfort. In the middle, we find a mix because in the middle, we find others, and where there are others, there is difference, and where there is difference, there is a divide. There is a line.

On our side, in our comfort, we also find our conviction. And when pressed, we fight for our conviction. Or we don’t, for there are consequences to conviction. On Friday, during our district Professional Learning Day, guest speaker Dr. Anthony Muhammad drew the lines for us, separating a school’s culture into four groups: the Tweeners (new teachers), the Survivors (those who are hanging on), the Fundamentalists (defenders of the status quo), and the Believers (champions of change). And while that is probably an overly simplified representation, it provides the basics. It draws the lines. Of course, there is one line that may be more distinct: the line between the Fundamentalists and the Believers. Not shy about suggesting school culture is political, Dr. Muhammad directly pitted these two groups against each other, even calling out Believers for not speaking up and out against the defamation, disruption, and distraction of the Fundamentalists, stoking the fire by stating that he wished in retrospect he had titled Believers “Unapologetic Child Advocates.” And as he spoke of the line between and the need to cross it, I felt a swell, an energy to speak up and out. Why wouldn’t I? He was compelling. I was compelled. I am compelled, but…

But, there’s a line. I know it well. As one who’s been at the line of change for the majority of my career, I have lived the line. I have crossed it. I have walked up to it. I have walked away from it. Of late, at least in my district and building, I have shied away from it, made weary by the political capital required to be an outspoken “Believer,” I walked away from building and district leadership roles, content in my classroom and here in the Blogosphere and Twitterverse, where I am connected to and inspired by like-minded educators from around the world. Here on this side of the line, I have found comfort. But I have never been content with comfort, and Friday, Dr. Muhammad stirred my memory of this. But as I remember, I recall all that is the line: the tension, the isolation, the progress, the setbacks, and I am torn. Yes, I believe I have the responsibility to step up, but I also know the cost. And so, I don’t know. Well, I suppose that’s not completely honest. I do know. I will cross the line. Of course, I have tried to convince myself all weekend long that I am older and wiser and less a fighter now, but something stirred, and I am worried. Old ways die hard, and though I will try to keep my “passion” in check, it’s there; I can feel it, stirred by the line.

Today’s Trail

Along today’s trail we will experience…

…reconnecting through Smiles and Frowns.

…growing with grammar.

…reading “By Any Other Name.”

…reflecting in our Journey Journals.

…hearing a Sappy Sy Rhyme.

Happy Monday, all.

Do. Reflect. Do Better.

“Stating themes is hard. It’s hard to learn. It’s hard to teach. I know some of you are frustrated right now with the process–with me. I know. But I also know that we don’t get better by accident. It takes time. It takes work. So, hang in there. We have lots of time ahead. We have lots of work ahead. We’ll get better. Together.”

This was my feeble attempt at a pep talk yesterday, a day when there was little pep in my step, little cheer in my spirit. But as teaching often requires, I had to–as best I could–set aside my own personal struggles to help my kids through theirs. And for some that was frustrating. Understandably. Who wants to “try it again” for the third time? And as much as they want–on some level–for me to say “good” so they can be done, and as much as I want–on some level–to say “good” so I can be done, we both know–on some level–that’s not the path. So, we stayed at it. Jill (name changed) stayed at it all period, one trip after another to my desk for feedback. And finally, on a paper riddled without cross outs and scribbles, we found an answer. On her way out, she stopped by my desk one final time.

“Thanks for all your help today, Sy. Sorry it took me so long.”

“I am sorry you feel like you have to say, ‘sorry.’ No, sorry. It’s my job, so cut out that ‘sorry’ stuff. I am sorry for the frustration, kiddo. Trust me, it would be far easier to say ‘good’ and be done, but we both know that’s not the way to better. Thank you for hanging in there.”

And sometimes that’s what life and learning require: hanging in there. But it’s hard to hang in there without support. Yesterday, I was struggling and several–including my kids–offered their support, so I could hang in there, on a day when I didn’t want to. And of course, as we all know, kids are no different. They, too, don’t always want to, and they, too, just need our support when there’s no choice but to hang in there. And I think if we can do that for each other, we’ll make it. Just hanging in there together.

Today’s Trail

Along today’s trail we will experience…

…connecting through Smiles and Frowns.

…growing with grammar.

…completing our cross sections of the human experience.

…reflecting in our Journey Journals.

…hearing a Sappy Sy Rhyme.

Do. Reflect. Do Better.