Day Six. Not sure where I am with all this this morning. Still adjusting. Still pondering purpose. Still hoping that the little I am doing to connect with my kids is helping. Still trying —struggling–to put on a happy face amidst all this and be a model for my family, my students, my colleagues, my community, myself. Still.
And as still remains, I will try to find some stillness to process this. I hope we can all find some stillness in this. I seek it in the outdoors. My wife finds it in her art. My son finds it in his games. My daughter finds it in her horse. May we all find the still we seek in the ripples of this reality.
Day Five. Distance divides. And, as we are social, emotional beings, this new distance, this new divide has made our need for each other more clear–and we’re only at the earliest stages of this unprecedented experience. And so, we need to fill the need as best we can by checking in on each other. Yesterday, readers Joy Kirr, Erin Gaudet, Cecelia Mizzoni, and Elise Foster checked in with me, sensing my need here in the divide, and that made a world of difference, in a world of weird right now. Four check-ins mattered, and so this morning, sitting in the dark, drinking my second cup of coffee, I came up with Check In Challenge. Thank you, ladies, for the inspiration. Thank you for checking in on me.
So, let’s harness that power over the coming weeks by checking in on four people per day. Doesn’t have to be a big step. Just a step. Just a simple, “How ya doing?” Even small steps like this can bring us together. We need together.
Day three. Struggling some. Teaching is so much a part of my life, my identity that I am feeling a little lost. Connecting with my kids via Smiles and Frowns is helping, but the whole life-on-hold reality is settling in, and it’s hard than I thought it would be. I know most of you feel the same. I just keep telling myself that we will get through this. One day at a time.
Day Two. This is gonna be harder than I thought. School is such a big part of my life, my identity. Hard to let it go, especially like this. So, to keep connected with the part of school that matters most: kids, I created a way for my kids and me to meet our basic needs with Smiles and Frowns through Google Classroom.
Good morning, all. I am sorry that recent events have resulted in our separation for the coming weeks. I’d like all of us to stay connected, so I am starting a Smiles and Frowns thread in the attached document. Of course, this is completely voluntary–as always. If you participate, please share your smile and/or frown (or pass) along with your name. I will add the date each weekday morning along with my smiles and frowns. I hope you are all healthy and safe. Please email me at any time if you need to connect. I am here. Take care. I miss you.
My Smiles and Frowns from yesterday.
And we connected. Many of the kids expressed gratitude for our having a way to stay connected. Each morning, I will respond to each post they make (takes some time, but it’s time well worth it) and share my own smile and frown. Not the same as being in the classroom, but it’s something, and we all need something right now. I need this. And I believe my kids do, too. It’s basic.
Well, never in a million. Never would I have imagined that we’d be in a place where we had to close school for six weeks. But, here we are. And though I am still processing what “here” is for the short and long term, one thing that is real in the surreality of it all is that we will not be together for some time.
At present, I am not sure what the academic end of it will look like. Still waiting on guidance from our district, who’s doing their best to navigate these new waters, trying to find answers to questions we never expected to ask. I am proud that they are first focusing on what I believe matters more: feeding and taking care of our neediest kids. Academics can wait. People are the primary pieces to this puzzle.
And so, for me, my greatest concern rests in how I can continue to cultivate connection in this time of isolation. I will still attempt to conduct Smiles and Frowns via Google Classroom with my kids. I will also continue to compose and share daily #MyRoomMessages and #SappySyRhymes. Won’t be the same with the distance, but my hope is that I can help us feel less-far away. Not sure what else to do.
As for Project 180, I think I will continue to post daily, but admittedly without my classroom connection and regular reflection, material will be harder to come by. So, for now, I will take it one day at a time, just as I’m sure many of you are as we make our way through this strange time, trying to put the pieces together.
Please reach out if I can be of any help. Take care of yourselves and each other. We will make it through this.
Morning, all. So pleased and proud to announce yesterday’s success with our “Table Talks.” The kids, as always, rose to the occasion, and for ten rounds of tough topics, they talked with each other. It was fascinating to watch and gratifying to feel. And today, I will get to witness the five final rounds of this engaging experience. And though we did not get to the formal reflection yet, the kids gave lots of positive feedback. One of my “tougher customers” (love him and his challenging ways) remarked,
“This is the most epic thing we’ve done all year in here. I love talking with people.”
With people. Yes, he loves to talk. I’ve come to believe he has to, and though he often “has to” at times when I don’t want him to, we have learned our dance, and we step on each other’s toes less often.
Yesterday’s comment made me consider even more deeply the power of letting kids talk with each other, something that we too often stifle in our classroom settings, making me wonder about the implications this may have on a society that struggles to talk with each other. Maybe our suppressing their voices now suppresses their voices later. Maybe our silencing them now silences them later. Maybe our talking at them now makes them talk at others later. I don’t know.
But I do know this. There’s something inside–each. Some cannot contain it. Some have yet to find it. Some can keep it in. And some don’t even believe they have it. But it’s there. And though we seem to place more value on those who contain it–they are our well-managed ones–there is value–greater than we may imagine–in those who cannot keep it in.
I am learning this more as I go. For far too long, I perceived and placed greater value on my “containers” than on my “releasers.” It was a mark of my good management. I could keep my “releasers” in check. But at what cost? In contrast to past practice, I’ve now come to believe it is a necessary release. They have to do it. They have to talk, even at some of the more inopportune times. So, I have learned to let them–to a degree. I am not suggesting we don’t provide some checks along the way, but I am suggesting we learn to dance with them. I have become a better partner over the years, and though I still stumble awkwardly around the floor at times, I am learning to let my kids lead more as a way of showing me the meaning in their moves. This particular partner has been showing me all year long. He has to talk. Has to. So, I let him.
Anyone seen an hour? It vanished. Looked for it all day yesterday, but to no avail. Last seen Saturday night. It was there when I went to bed, but it was gone Sunday morning. If found, please return to owner.
Kids already lose enough sleep for various reasons–some their own fault. But for the next three or more days, our rooms with be filled with sleepier-than-usual kids. Makes me wonder if we shouldn’t do a late start for a few days while kids’ clocks adjust to the change. Maybe sleepier-than-usual adults would benefit, too.
But, that’s not likely, so we will just manage through it as we always do, lamenting our loss.
Today’s Trail
Along today’s trail we will experience…
…reconnecting through Smiles and Frowns.
…growing with grammar.
…considering positions and reasons on class-selected issues.
…preparing for tomorrow’s “Table Talk” activity.
…hearing a Sappy Sy Rhyme.
Happy Monday, all. If you find that hour, I will be at Cheney High School all day.
Morning, all. Tired. Running behind. Stressed. So, gonna take the easy road this morning and simply wish everyone a wonderful weekend. Be back at it Monday. Sorry.
I imagine we’ve all had him in class. Most of us probably have him right now. I believe I have had him every year of my career, and though he hasn’t changed, I have, and I now perceive and receive him differently.
I used to fight him, and in that struggle, that conflict, it was always about my way or the highway. And I was proud of my power to prevail, to win. To win. “Cringe,” as my kids would say. Proud to win. Ugh. That was me.
Kids come to us in various ways. And though some of those ways are in stark contrast to what we expect and accept, they are nonetheless, the “ways” they are. “He” comes in his way. And though he on some level has to own his way, we on another level have to own it, too, in that kids don’t always choose their ways. They just are, and as they are, they are challenges for themselves as well for us.
I believe there’s a time when most of us come to realize that behavior is communication. As I came to realize that, less-early than I would care to admit, I came to listen better to what they were trying to communicate. I say, “try,” because it’s as hard for them to speak as it is for us to listen. A lot can get lost in translation, especially if we aren’t careful to listen. I am a better, more careful listener now.
And, I have worked hard to listen to him all year. Some days, admittedly, have been harder than others–even impossible–but I have stayed the course, taken the long road to listen, to learn, to understand. And though, we still have a long ways to go, things have changed recently with him. And, I have had to lean in because this new behavior seems to be carrying a new message. So, I want–I need–to understand.
Yesterday, I joked with him about this “new leaf,” wanting him to know that I noticed, that I appreciated this side. I won’t say “new side,” for that suggests I made it happen. And I don’t believe that. If anything, I just let it happen. The “side” was always there. I just had to give him time to reveal it in his own way, time to trust me enough to show it. We had to take the long road. And the road goes on.
Of course, he won’t be my last him. I will get a new one next year. But I will not soon forget this year’s him. He won’t let me.
Today’s Trail
Along today’s trail we will experience…
…connecting through Smiles and Frowns.
…growing with grammar.
…engaging in a teacher-directed self-assessment of our latest Learning Check.
“Uh, so, if I had to take a guess, I’d suggest that we’re not getting this, eh?”
I was met with a sea of agreement as a roomful of nods told me what I already knew. I blew it. The kids were not sufficiently set-up for the task at hand. And it was not their fault. It was mine.
I had rushed into it, believing I could make up for the leap by catching the few who would struggle, over-estimating my ability to support kids on the swim, for as I was scrambling to clarify and support, kids were sinking all around me. And in a last-ditch effort to save our souls as the period was coming to an end, I launched a lifeboat.
“Okay, I messed up. I didn’t sufficiently set you up for this and my attempts to make up for it aren’t working, so we are going to try this again tomorrow. I am sorry.”
Though my intentions were good and I thought well-aimed, I got in over my head. I have been trying all year to use my honors curriculum with my one section of “regular LA,” and though it has gone generally well (proud of my kids), I tanked this one. So, today, I am going to make up for it, not by lowering my expectations but by elevating my support. Kids can do this. They have shown me that all year long as we have worked together to get there. Yesterday, I did a poor job of orchestrating “together,” and today I will seek to do better.
Thank goodness the kids were good sports about it and didn’t mutiny and make me walk the plank. They really were trying despite my steering us into the rocks. Sorry they had to suffer through it. Kids really are the best.
Today’s Trail
Along today’s trail we will experience…
…connecting through Smiles and Frowns.
…cultivating community with “Connection Cards.”
…completing (for reals this time) our Learning Check on tone analysis.
