We started Hybrid this week. And though the challenges have been and will continue to be real, there’s a feel I have not felt for nearly a year now, the energy of humans in the room. Real energy.

I don’t know how else to describe it. But in my describing it, I feel like I sell short the enormous energy I had to muster in the daily distance over the past several months, energy that seemed the only defense against the divide. I believed I could “energy” us to normal, and each day as we Zoomed, I put on my suit and played the part. And so it was real in the sense that it was not fake. It was genuine; it just wasn’t real.

Yeah, like that clears it up. Sorry. Regardless which is “realer”, there’s no denying the feel now that kids are back in the room. Maybe it’s not so much how real it is, but how easy it is to tap into. Huge human energy, filling the room, fueling my drive. But something so easily found, can turn to something so easily lost. There’s a price when one draws too deeply from the source, when one burns too brightly for too long. The drain.

I forgot about the drain. I got so caught up in the feel of the real that I got greedy and I took too much. And now, only two days in, I am depleted in ways that I have not been in nearly a year. I forgot about the price. And now I feel another real: exhaustion. And I even have “scientific proof.” Well, I have Garmin gadget proof.

I got a Garmin smartwatch for Christmas, and one of the app features is what they call a “Body Battery.” And though I don’t really need Garmin to tell me how I feel, I have come to take heed, realizing it’s relatively right most days. Interestingly (but not surprisingly), the last 2 days my battery’s been lower, and recharging has become harder. But as I said, this is no surprise. The kids are back. I am back. And that means energy. Real energy. The power to boost. The power to burn. The need to balance.

Balance. Gotta find that balance again. But that energy. So hard not get ahead of myself, especially since it’s been gone so long.

Happy Wednesday, all.

Do. Reflect. Do Better.