So, I lied. It wasn’t a mean lie, and I even thought this time I was telling the truth, but I wasn’t. I am stressed. Thought I could master the end of the semester frenzy to get things done, to give the kids they help they needed to get through. And to that end, I declared my room a “Less-Stress Zone” on Monday. That lasted about 2 seconds. Well, for me anyway.

But it’s not “I’m-dying-inside” stress. It’s more the “I’m-not-enough” stress that I tend to find and fret about this time of year. I never feel more needed than at the end of a term. And while feeling needed carries a certain satisfaction, it also exacts a cost. I am not enough. But I try to be. I don’t want my kids to be stressed, so I try to carry it for them. Sometimes, I carry too much. And even in all of the “carrying” I cannot prevent all of their stress, even in my “less-stress” zone. Yesterday, despite my insistent assurances that is was the most minor of errors and easily corrected on her latest performance, tears welled in Marion’s eyes as her own stress caught up with her, confiding it was not this class; it was her other classes that were pressing down on her. I can’t do much about that. But I want to. So, I try to make things less stressful in my room. By offering my help. As much as I can muster.

Yesterday, I made a lighthearted attempt to offer my services. I wanted the kids to feel completely comfortable asking me for help. And, it’s not that they don’t usually–I try to make my space a place where they always feel comfortable doing so, I just wanted to make plain that it’s okay. That it’s necessary. That it’s why I am in the room in the first place. And so they ordered from the menu, and they ate, and they ate, and they ate.

Today, the feast continues. And I will do my best to be what I can, to do what I can for each. We will make it. We always do. That’s the truth. The whole truth, the real truth this time.

Today’s Trail

Along today’s trail we will experience…

…connecting through Smiles and Frowns.

…wrapping up the semester, preparing for learning conferences.

…hearing a Sappy Sy Rhyme.