I used to wear a cape. I used to paint my face. I used to write and sing songs. I used to assemble a group of kiddos from the previous year to inspire and encourage my current kids before state testing. We called ourselves the WASL (Washington Assessment of Student Learning) Wonders, and then when the test changed to the High School Proficiency Exam, we called ourselves the HSPE heroes.

I used to.

I no longer don a cape and tights. I no longer write and sing songs with my last year’s kids to rah-rah my this year’s kids to and through the state test.

I used to.

See, I thought I had to. I thought I had to be the “hero” to see them through the rough reality of standardized testing, and whether I believed in it or not, it was my job to get the kids there in mind and spirit. And I did this for ten years.

And then one day, I stopped. And not because the test went away. It’s now called the SBA (Smarter Balanced Assessment) and that will change with the next test. Not because the reality is any less real for my kids. They have to pass to graduate. Not because it’s no longer my job to prepare them for the test. I teach tenth-grade English in Washington State. It’s because…

Because I can no longer sell what I myself would not buy. I cannot, will not buy that standardized testing is the measure of my kids. In my stronger moments, I would bravely stand and wear that on a t-shirt for all the world to see, smiting standardization’s nefarious nature. But in my weaker, wonder-and-worry moments (like now, with the testing starting Monday), I fear I have not done my job; I fear I have let my kids down; I fear I have let my profession down, and I want to hide. But that is fear talking. It is not truth. It’s the narrative of nonsense.

I have let no one down. I know this. My kids know this. Come to my room if you want the real story. Let’s talk about learning, let’s talk about humanity. We have much to tell, and we would readily share. After all, it’s our story.

I no longer wear my cape, for I will no longer pretend to fly a false fiction. It was only an old, red sheet anyway. And the paint just washed off. And the songs were never really that good either.

I used to care. Used to. But I no longer do. I will play the pawn no more. So point your fingers. I will wear my guilt out in the open. Guess I already am.

Today’s Trail

Along today’s trail we will experience…

…connecting through Smiles and Frowns.

…responding to feedback and wrapping up essays.

…reflecting in our Journey Journals.

…hearing a Sappy Sy Rhyme.

Happy Friday, all. Sorry for the feisty post this morning. This time of year gets to me. Have a great weekend.

Do. Reflect. Do Better.